The continued silence is deafening and though it tells Rin he's not hitting the right chord he can't tell how off he is or how to reorientate himself. And of course he's getting zero indication from Haru, which has been, to Rin's mind, the problem here. He can't tell what's going through Haru's head, what he's feeling, whether he's blanking him as a further means of shoving his head in the sand or some passive-aggressive unwillingness to engage with Rin full stop.
It gives Rin an icy feeling in his stomach and at the same time makes his fiddling fingers in his pocket clench into a fist out of irritation. He's never had a soft-touch when it comes to Haru, not like Makoto who knows Haru inside and out with apparent ease, but he's also never thought of himself as being cruel to Haru either. Even coming back from Australia, he was cold and lost, but not overtly harsh. He's always rolled with his instinct when it came to Haru in the past, but now he feels like the rug is being pulled out from under him with every non-reaction he gets from the other boy, or like they were once connected somehow but the tie got severed at some unseen moment. While he hadn't noticed they've started drifting on different currants.
At least that's how it's starting to feel as the gulf of silence stretches on without Haru responding. Rin even lets his eyes drift from the other boy's face toward the wall on the off-chance there's legitimately something there that warrants the diverted attention, but he finds himself entirely unsurprised to find there's nothing there at all.
Shifting his eyes back toward Haru once more, Rin slowly runs his tongue over his teeth behind his lip in one direction and then back again, a kind of count-to-ten gesture which is less about tapering his anger than it is about finding words to say to nothing that aren't expressly aggressive because he's not angry per se.
Sighing, Rin holds his hands up, palms forward, signally a sort of defeat.
"All right, all right. I get it. It's not what you want. But..."
He finds himself hesitating again, the ground feeling unsteady and unmapped again.
"... You can't keep pretending there's nothing to decide on and that you can just avoid everything, Haru. People are worried, you know."
Withdrawing a hand from his pocket at last, Rin pushes his fingers into his hair at the side of his head, eyes averted.
"I came to talk to you before, actually. You weren't here, Makoto was. He said you were probably thinking about everything in your own way. And maybe you are, but no-one can read your mind. Not really. Are you just going to wait until graduation morning to decide what you're going to do?"
no subject
It gives Rin an icy feeling in his stomach and at the same time makes his fiddling fingers in his pocket clench into a fist out of irritation. He's never had a soft-touch when it comes to Haru, not like Makoto who knows Haru inside and out with apparent ease, but he's also never thought of himself as being cruel to Haru either. Even coming back from Australia, he was cold and lost, but not overtly harsh. He's always rolled with his instinct when it came to Haru in the past, but now he feels like the rug is being pulled out from under him with every non-reaction he gets from the other boy, or like they were once connected somehow but the tie got severed at some unseen moment. While he hadn't noticed they've started drifting on different currants.
At least that's how it's starting to feel as the gulf of silence stretches on without Haru responding. Rin even lets his eyes drift from the other boy's face toward the wall on the off-chance there's legitimately something there that warrants the diverted attention, but he finds himself entirely unsurprised to find there's nothing there at all.
Shifting his eyes back toward Haru once more, Rin slowly runs his tongue over his teeth behind his lip in one direction and then back again, a kind of count-to-ten gesture which is less about tapering his anger than it is about finding words to say to nothing that aren't expressly aggressive because he's not angry per se.
Sighing, Rin holds his hands up, palms forward, signally a sort of defeat.
"All right, all right. I get it. It's not what you want. But..."
He finds himself hesitating again, the ground feeling unsteady and unmapped again.
"... You can't keep pretending there's nothing to decide on and that you can just avoid everything, Haru. People are worried, you know."
Withdrawing a hand from his pocket at last, Rin pushes his fingers into his hair at the side of his head, eyes averted.
"I came to talk to you before, actually. You weren't here, Makoto was. He said you were probably thinking about everything in your own way. And maybe you are, but no-one can read your mind. Not really. Are you just going to wait until graduation morning to decide what you're going to do?"